


So Much For Keeping Things Close To The Chest

by itbepansam



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Inner Dialogue, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 23:04:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17858714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbepansam/pseuds/itbepansam
Summary: The inner dialogue of Caleb as the Mighty Nein enjoy Hupperdook on their first night in town.





	So Much For Keeping Things Close To The Chest

**Author's Note:**

> I was rewatching this episode and saw Caleb react to Jester's cheek kiss and I knew I needed to write something.

It was obvious to everyone that it had probably been a while since Jester had last sat in front of a piano. But that didn’t mean she was awful. Her songs were simple, yes, but they were still mostly on key. Caleb smiled smugly to himself as he muttered a incantation and waved his fingers in the direction of Jester as she played, casting haste on her. She began to play a new song, though much faster than its intended speed. The group laughed a little, Caleb seeing the smile on Jester’s own face as she giggled and continued to play.

The owner of the piano walked up at that moment, and Caleb saw him talk with Jester for a moment. He stepped closer so that he could hear a little better.

“Well, I really think the first few tips should go to me, since I set the mood and all,” Jester said, her hands clasped adorably in front of her. 

“Well then, let’s hope someone gives a tip while you’re still at the bench.” He moved to sit next to her on the piano bench, then pushed her off with his hips.  _ Prick _ . 

Caleb walked forward and placed a gold piece in the hat that sat on top of the piano. “This one’s for the lady. Very good, very good.”

Jester gasped in excitement, turning to the pianoman. “Did you see? Did you see?”

“I saw. I saw.” He replied, cracking his knuckles and getting situated. 

Jester picked up the gold piece and skipped over to Caleb, a bright smile on her face. She leaned in and kissed Caleb on the cheek. “Thank you, Caleb.”

The world seemed to stop for a moment as her lips met his cheek. He was stunned. Here was this beautiful young woman, so bright and full of life. Someone who surely would be horrified if she ever learned of his past. Someone who Caleb had seen be very sweet on Fjord, even if the half orc was the most oblivious man alive. And now she had just given him a kiss on the cheek. He felt his heart fluttered as he stood in place, unmoving. 

Uh oh. This was dangerous. He watched her skip away, back towards the group at the corner of the room. She began to talk with Nott about something. He gave a soft smile, her bright aura so infectious as she seemed to light up the whole room with her laugh. He had only felt this feeling once before, and it was even more dangerous now than it ever had been before. Back then they both had been striving towards a common goal. This was so different, despite all the similarities. She was beautiful, courageous, insightful, caring, and extremely talented. He had seen her many times tear down enemies with her ferociousness. He was in awe of her. And he knew he was in trouble and needed to hold back before it got any worse. 

~~~

Hours later, after the victory in the Hour of Honor, Caleb found himself leaning against the wall. He was very drunk. He saw Jester bouncing and smiling at their compatriots, most of whom were also very drunk. He smiled in her direction and she seemed to notice as she got up from the table and walked up to him. She took his wrists in her hands. 

“Will you waltz with me, Caleb?” 

How was any man supposed to say no to her? 

He let himself be dragged to the middle of the room. He was drunk, too drunk. But he didn’t stop himself. He instead placed his hand on Jester’s back as the other cupped hers. In his drunken stupor he forgot to actually start dancing. So, Jester started to lead him. He ran on autopilot, his body falling back into a rhythm that it remembered from so long ago, a nearly forgotten memory hidden among the rubble. Somewhere in the middle he heard the band actually began to play a waltz tune. Out the corner of his eye he saw Mollymauk dancing with Nott. He glanced around, a drunken smile on his face, seeing this friends smiling and laughing as they danced or watched. 

“You,” Caleb started as he turned back to his dancing partner, “‘re always a better dancer than me, Astrid. You are always so good.” 

“Astrid?” She asked.

“Ja.”

“Oh, well you know, Caleb you-”

He pulled back, ceasing the dance, as he realized what he had just said. “Oh, I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry.” He looked down at the ground, eyebrows furrowed together. He backed away a little more, trying to shake himself back to reality as he glanced around for an exit.

“Caleb, do you need to go to sleep?” Jester asked. Damn her for being so caring. Caleb didn’t answer, merely just began to walk away, towards the door where he could potentially escape. 

“No! No, no.” Jester said. Caleb felt a tug on his coat. He tried to pull away gently but to no avail. He was too drunk and she was too strong. He would never get anywhere. “You are not going to go pass out in the street. You told me to be in charge of this.” She began to push him towards the stairs. He let himself be pushed, too drunk to think straight. 

They entered his bedroom. He made his way to the bed and Jester helped put him into it, being far too drunk to get into a comfortable position. 

“You are blue.” He said sleepily. 

“Yes, I am. And you’re very nice. And a little stinky.”

“One of those things is true. Annd you are blue.” He may be drunk but he knew that he wasn’t nice. 

“I’m sure Astrid loved you very much.” He felt her tuck him into bed. 

He closed his eyes and waited for her to leave. Once she did, he opened them once more and stared at the ceiling. He had called her Astrid. This cemented it for him. He had feelings for her. And that was so dangerous for what he wanted to achieve, as well as just the general safety of her and the group. It was enough stress since he realized he had come to care a great deal about Nott. But now.. Now there was Jester. Jester, who could never knew the demons that ran around in his head at every given moment. She was too bright for that, even if it may all just be a mask to cover her loneliness. 

“You’re too deep now, Widogast. What are you going to do? They’ll find you if you leave. But you risk their lives if you stay. And can you really handle the toll to  _ her _ if you leave. What if something happens? That’s on you because you left. You couldn’t protect her. You’re foolish. You need to get ahold of yourself. You need to…” He trailed off, his own thoughts and voice becoming too loud for him. He shook his head, rubbed his temple with his hands before dragging them down his face. He should sleep. Maybe he could think of something more clever when he didn’t have so much alcohol in his system. 


End file.
